Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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