Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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