only if we run a train.
done.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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