forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This is the high leading the old right now
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
