I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
