Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
