just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
