Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
