My room smells like vodka and shame
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
