Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
