butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
