**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
