NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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