I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
