At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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