One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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