We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
When did angry sex become our thing?
When are your genitals available?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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