He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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