yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
