I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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