Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
