so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
love makes seman taste better
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
