So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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