ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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