Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
