My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize