in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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