she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
