The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
