I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize