i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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