he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize