porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
