i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
