Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
