first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
