why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
