Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
