I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
