Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
