He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
