He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize