As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize