my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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