loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
