C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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