return my video game
You smell like stripper and shame
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
