and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
