Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
