Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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