Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i came on her dog
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
