i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I have fence marks all over my body
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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