Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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