Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
being pregnant is like rehab
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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