I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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