he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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