It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
