You really coming over, don't trick.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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