I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
